Ugh

School full-fledged resumed on Tuesday, the day after Labor Day. These past two days of school have been more challenging and more exhausting than I had imagined.

I am a drama teacher so this is going to be a little dramatic. Remember that scene from Shawshank Redemption when the old man Brooks was released from prison after years behind bars where he worked in the library? He struggled to fit in to a society that had changed and evolved since his incarceration and is nearly unrecognizable to him. I feel the same way at school. Administrators and personnel have changed, there is a new schedule, I am teaching in classrooms I'd never been inside, policies and produces are different and I am wasting my time learning about these changes the hard way. I feel like I am learning the ropes all over. I feel like I left school used to horses in the streets and now there are these newfangled motor vehicles on the road and that is confusing to me.

OK, so (spoiler alert) Brooks commits suicide at the end of the scene. (I warned that this would be a little dramatic.) I, on the other hand, am confident that I will learn and adjust and adapt. I hope that I'll be less exhausted when I figure things out and will become more efficient my limited prep time at school, especially since I am trying very hard to keep school at school so that I can be a mom when I am outside of school.

When I finally get to Belle after 3pm, I am relieved and comforted to see her well and smiley. Today was rough, though, because the rainy weather made for a longer trip back to NYC than usual. Then some movie filming on 86th Street occupied a great deal of potential-parking spots, which meant that Belle and I circled the block looking for parking for over 20 minutes this afternoon instead of playing. When we finally got home, I was pooped, Belle was a little cranky, and that all made me feel a little down (and "the rain made the day so gray").

Some of my mom friends who returned to work before I did comforted me by telling me that work is less taxing than caring for (and chasing after) an infant/toddler/wobbler. I haven't found that, though perhaps it's because teaching is no desk job. I am on my feet all day, and I expend a great deal of energy trying to attain and hold the attention of 30 14-year-olds whose minds are still on summer vacation.

I know that the first few days of school are the most tiresome, and that I'll get into a routine in a few weeks. Until then, I'll think lovingly on the days when Belle pooped and puked on me midday; when I chased her up the slide at the playground; when I was as filthy as she after an hour in the Park mid-morning.