Monday, April 11, 2011

No more "Tough Guy"

Maybe Belle was overstimulated after a day of fun with the Levinsons. Or maybe Belle was just overtired. She could have been teething. Or perhaps she was just making sure that her lungs were in good working order. Whatever the reason, Belle screamed and screamed after we put her in her crib this evening. While we seven adults (Seren, Craig, Grammy Hilary, Grampy Elcon, Uncle Joe, Aunt Carla and Gaga/Great-Grammy Maxine) ate dinner, Belle screamed and cried in her crib.

As a new mom trying to figure out my way in mommyhood, I was especially appreciative that no one told me what to do. My mother didn't say, "why don't you..." and my father didn't say, "when you kids were babies, we used to..." No said offered, "should I try..." or "I could..." and no one made me feel bad when I said we were going to let her cry it out this time.

Still, Belle's little screams grew into bigger ones and my heart broke a little. Craig supported being tough, though he did go into the bedroom to put the stereo on Peter, Paul and Mary for Belle hoping the folk music would soothe her.

While we finished and cleaned dinner, packed the Levinsons and said our goodbyes, Belle screamed and screamed. My grandmother expressed her discomfort listening to her great-granddaughter cry, but Craig and I remained strong and united in letting her cry in out.

Less than one second after we heard the elevator ding indicating that my parents and grandma were on their way out, Craig said, "OK, I have to go rock Belle to sleep right now." He appeared to be Mr. Tough Guy dad in front of my family, standing with me as we tried to let Belle soothe herself. But really, like me, Craig's heart broke a little when he heard our beautiful, generally-happy little girl cry. So Craig soothed Belle and rocked her to sleep and lay her down gently to slumber peacefully in her crib, which is where she is as I write this.

We may appear to be tough, but we are both really softies.

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