I am not a bed.

It's not that I mind terribly when Belle falls asleep on me. Serving as a bed for a small, snugly sleeping baby is one of the warmest feelings in the world. The way Belle nuzzles her head into my neck, trusts me, and sleeps soundly and comfortably on me is truly beautiful. It's just that Craig and I invested in a brand new beautiful crib, a top-of-the-line crib mattress, and adorable, soft crib bedding. Yet for a good portion of last night (about four hours: 3-7am), Belle preferred to snooze on me while I sat on the couch holding her. As much as I love holding her, I would love even more if Belle slept in the crib we bought for her. And I happen to prefer sleeping lying down in my bed to dozing on and off while sitting up holding a highly precious bundle. Maybe it's the warmth of Mommy that Belle so enjoys. Or perhaps being upright is most comfortable for her reflux and her cold. Or maybe it's just a fussy phase that, as a first-time mom, I am accidentally encouraging. The fact is, she cries when I put her down, so I scoop her back up and hold her. As I type this blog entry one-handedly, I am holding a sweet sleeping Belle. I love holding her, but I could be showering or cleaning breakfast dishes or doing anything else bedsides serving as a human vertical crib. Belle, my love, my sweet baby girl, I am your mommy and not your bed.